16 Reasons Working Out is the Worst (satire)
October 20, 2016 | Amy Cattaneo
There are so many benefits to starting a healthy lifestyle by exercising and getting into a workout routine. Everyone is always talking about how great it is but there is dark side that no one talks about…until now….
1. Your friends and family will think you are crazy. You have gone from the person who used to think the long walk from the far parking spot in the mall was cardio to someone who runs laps and they don’t now know to handle it.
2. You suddenly speak a whole new language. Words like burpees, extensions, and rope slam are now part of your daily vocabulary. And you now have completely different definitions for words like good morning, bridges, dead bug and superman.
3. You have a new found fear of anything that slides.
4. You can’t help but talk to the random person who is wearing the shirt from the 5k you ran last month. You MUST find out what they thought of that hilly last mile!
5. You spend more money on workout clothes then regular clothes.
6. People want you to move things…and lift things…and open things.
7. You find random bruises on your body and wonder if it was because you worked out SUPER hard or because you messed up an exercise.
8. You can’t stop staring at your muscles. Every mirror is an opportunity to flex and check out the lines you now have.
9. Every motivation meme was written for you. They are all speaking to your soul.
10. Adding up things by 5 is now a part of your life.
11. You find yourself in this limbo of wanting to be sore but NOT wanting to be sore.
12. You secretly hope it’s always raining while you workout…so you don’t have to run outside.
13. It’s common knowledge to you now that there are so many versions of a squat…and they all hurt.
14. Your laundry has now doubled.
15. You can’t seem to properly explain how something you complain about is something you also want everyone you know to start doing.
16. You start to question your sanity of wanting to go to a place to pick up heavy things and then put them down…repeatedly.
So there you have it. Exercising is amazing for you but it comes with some side effects. Thankfully, these are ones that we can all live with and eventually maybe even come to love!!!
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