Are Your Rules Making it Too Hard?

April 7, 2017

Are Your Rules Making it Too Hard?

Whether we realize it or not, we all live by a set of rules and values. We have them for each part of our lives but I’m going to focus on the ones we have for health and fitness. When someone makes the decision to start on a healthier path, they automatically create a set of values and rules for how they want to be. These may have been there for years or they decide them in the moment. Let me give you an example:

A woman wants to lose 30 lbs. That would be her goal. She also wants to be healthy, feel good in her clothes, and be knowledgeable about health and food. So to summarize her values would be:

Health

Confidence

Competence

These are some great values! So what’s the issue? Let’s look at some common rules we often hear associated with these values:

Health:

I only feel healthy when I eat only whole foods.

I only feel healthy when I workout daily.

I only feel healthy when I don’t eat any fried foods.

I only feel healthy when I don’t eat sweets or crave them.

I only feel healthy when I am the strongest or fastest in a workout.

I only feel healthy when I feel energetic during my workout.

I only feel healthy when my diet is perfect.

Confidence:

I only feel confident when I look good in anything I try on.

I only feel confident when I have abs and no belly fat.

I only feel confident when my thighs don’t touch.

I only feel confident when I’m under 20% body fat.

I only feel confident when nothing jiggles.

Competence:

I only feel competent when I know exactly what to eat.

I only feel competent when I know exactly when to eat.

I only feel competent when I know the nutrients in everything I eat.

I only feel competent when I know the exact macros and calories I need to eat on a daily basis.

I only feel competent when I don’t have to ask any questions about health.

Some of these may sound extreme but stop and think for a minute. What rules do you assign to the values you are striving for? Are they too strict? Too unattainable? Too unrealistic? My guess is at least some of them are. We hear them all the time. We have all these rules that make it impossible to reach the values we want. And we wonder why we are working so hard yet never feel healthier, more confident, more competent, etc.

The key is to make the rules for your values EASY! Here are some examples:

Health:
I feel healthy anytime I workout.
I feel healthy anytime I eat something good for my body.
I feel healthy anytime I push myself more.
I feel healthy anytime I try something different/new/challenging.
I feel healthy anytime I rest mentally or physically.
Confidence:
I feel confidence anytime I think positively about my body.
I feel confidence anytime I think about something I love about myself.
I feel confidence anytime I move my body in ways I couldn’t before.
I feel confidence anytime I give myself a compliment.
Competence:
I feel competent anytime I learn something new about health.
I feel competent anytime I teach someone else about health.
I feel competent anytime I question something about health.
I feel competent anytime I seek an answer to a question about health.
I feel competent anytime I know make a good food choice.

Notice the difference in the rules? The latter set is much easier to live by. This doesn’t mean you are making your routine easier. It’s just a mental thing. As you go through the routine, you feel more satisfied and accomplished instead of disappointed and dissatisfied.

Let’s say the woman in this example is tracking her food daily. And for a week, she eats well but has dessert everyday. Based on her old values, she wasn’t healthy so she may end the week feeling like a failure. How dare she have dessert daily? Who cares that the other meals were great. Desserts are BAD! So she may go into the next week vowing to not have ANY desserts at all. She had enough last week. Guess how she feels when she breaks down and has one?

Let’s revisit the week according to her new values. She went the week feeling healthy every time she had a great meal. She ended the week feeling accomplished and happy with her diet….maybe even ready to go the next week with a few less desserts since she ended this week feeling so good.

It may not seem like much and it may honestly seem like bulls%*&. So prove me wrong. Sit down and list out your values and the rules associated with each one. No cheating! Be 100% honest on what rules you have for each value. Are they too hard? If so, rework them so you feel success as you move through your health journey!

If you are a current client and want help reworking your rules, email me and let’s set up a meeting!

If you we aren’t currently helping you move towards your goals, click here for a free consultation.

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